Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Can't help it

I can't help it that i only think of blogging only when i am feeling down.
I can't help it that i am feeling down.
and I can't help it that even the slightest knowing, the slightest reminder, puts me down for weeks.

I dreamt that I could still be packing ur bags with you. Bringing over that jacket that I like so very much, buying u that new ankle guard, packing in a bunch of med and hoping you really have everything that u might need. Better still if i could be packed into ur bag.
I dreamt that i will send you off again, just so i could wait for ur return to welcome you back.
I can see that beam on ur face, that pride and the love for the game, and you will shine, like you always have in my eyes. My star.

but

All i can do, is say, Welcome back. Here.
I'm sure my shoes are much better filled, no matter how much i hate to admit.

There's no pain, just the feeling that everything is draining out of my body and into the heart. Like a black hole which has too much burden.
and i am feeling it much too often recently.

p.s. ...

| # over and out @ 1:33 AM |

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