Thursday, October 02, 2008

unsettled

I tossed and turned in bed and couldn't sleep for the longest time last night. I dunnoe when i finally fell asleep, but i guess it was after i had the wind stop blowing in my face. I hate it to have the wind blowing at me when i'm sleeping and i almost forgot no one knows it now.

God played a joke with me on sunday. He wanted to make me fall harder, so i could pick myself up sooner and better. but he forgot that i was always few steps behind everyone, even now. it only hit me now.
Either i never notice or i didnt choose to, but there are always a few moments everyday that i give to you. yesterday i thought about u when marco was driving and i was asking him about changing gears. yesterday i thought about u when i was reading the ending of "Trainman". yesterday i thought about u when i was watching Mars. yesterday i thought about you when the fan was blowing at me. yesterday i might have thought about u a few more times.
these thoughts at times are fleeting but at times they stay for a while longer.

some people say that the most lasting memories are those of hatred and pain, because they can heal, but the scar will never go away. i only remember 0.1% of the bad memories and 99.9% of the happy memories. The scars can never go away, but at long as u have something even deeper and more lasting then scars, the scars dun matter afterall. I had it all along. you had only the scars and held on to it tightly all along. never willing to let go.

p.s i miss you

| # over and out @ 11:21 AM |

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