Tuesday, June 21, 2005

My fucking mind is playing games with me again. I shouldn't have came home so early. Its barely eight and i still have plenty of time for my mind to be fucking up my mind again before the night gets old and when the calling of the bed finally seems tempting.
Now i hear the silence in my room. I have goosebumps on my hands from the cold and my feet and palms are sweating. All i want to do now is to smoke but i am reluctant to spoil my indulgence in the silence of the room. The world outside of my closed door and window seems like it will be a nuisance to me now.
i just remembered, i am supposed to quit smoking.

It's doing it. It's brewing some fucking crazy idea again.
I am getting more irritable by the second and pretty soon, either i will walk to my bag to get my ciggies or i will delete everything and head for the bed.

I am getting my ciggies just like it wanted. For me to stop typing, go to the window, spoil the silence, irritate me even more, play with me and get that idea into my head.

......

I'm back and i am yawning.
I knoe wat the ending is.
That one fucking phrase.
and so by tomorrow or by the time i wake up later i will triumph and it will succumb to me.

That's all there is to me.
Bloody nonsense.

| # over and out @ 9:17 PM |

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