Wednesday, May 12, 2004

step back into reality

If u guys have been wondering where i've been missing to lately..
I juz came back from sabah on monday.
Sorry if i had not informed everyone.

The days i spent there might have been the best days i have had for the past few months..
Not the happiest but at least i saw i tiny bit of sunshine amongst the dark clouds...

15 new friends and many new experiences...
Drank most of my nights away there.. the only nights that i didnt touch beer was when i was up the mountain and on the last day. Haha... i should be getting a beer belly soon... alcoholic me..
There was a computer there, but i amazingly managed to refrain from using it.. i didnt wan to have anything to do with civilization, or maybe i didnt wan to have anythin to do with singapore. Haha... 30 new mails in my inbox now... but i refuse to check it.

The main highlight if the trip was of course the climb up Mt Kinabalu.
This trip up made me learn a lot and definetely a experience not to forget.
For once i had such a heavy responsibility on my shoulder.
Leading the last group of injured and totally worned out participants up wasnt easy.
Trekking in total drakness with only one torch was hell of a experience. For once, i felt i had achieved something. For once i felt useful. Instead of pple always taking care of me, i had to take care of pple and i lead them to safety. Well, at least for that few hrs, i felt that my life was meaningful again.
Before even taking a breather, i was on my way down with Noel to look for the group who got lost.
On my way down, we hoped and we prayed for their safety. We really prayed hard. To the mountains, to the sprits and to the gods.Most importantly i prayed for Jo's safety.
At that time, i couldnt have imagine what would happen if something had happended to Jo. I was really damn worried.
I started thinking bout life, death, unfufilled wishes, regrets and many many things bout life.
Wat if i was in their situation?
Anyway, in the end everyone got back safely.
Lesson learn : better to be safe then sorry... i shall become safer trekker in future.

Haha... but so much for the excitement, i fell sick the next day i came down...
Must have been the wind at night... i almost froze to death out there...

And the second hightlight of the trip....
haha... is the chase of the sunrise...
On the last day, Jo and me actually when out 4 plus in the morning to catch the sunrise.
But the problem is.. we didnt knoe where it was going to come out from...
We were practically running all over town to "catch" the sunrise, even up buildings and bridges ..
haha... in the end, we still didnt see it..
well... the morning sky is nice enough..

One interesting thing, before we started our "chase" for the sun, we were actually sitting beside the beach and a cat came over.
It juz sit quietly beside us, as if i was accompanying us to wait for the sunrise.
First thing i felt such affinity to a cat...

Overall the trip was good...

Congrats if u have made it up to here... load of rubbish i have written up there.... haha
read on if u wan... more crap coming up...

2 days since i came back...
Been feeling very sick and lethargic...
I hate being back in singapore... i hate stepping back into reality..
loads of pple bothering me... lots of unread mail, missed calls and msgs...
NO!!! i shall continue to escape from reality.. so dun blame me if i didnt reply ur msgs...
But do call me if u wan to go for a drnk k.. haha

oh... and i really have to apologise for my mood swings during the trip...
really really sorry... i juz cant seem to control it... i think i have to go into rehabilitation soon...

i feel that i am sinking into depression..... how come.....?

i am going to take the first step soon..... i hope...

| # over and out @ 7:07 PM |

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