Monday, March 29, 2004

hmm... its been a long time since i stepped out of the hse before the sky turn bright...
reminds me of those school days... true school days.. those days with no worries and troubles.. those days where my purpose was only to see my friends in sch and go for band practices and sweat my heart out for the day... well gone are those days...

Now my life is all about worrying about my backlog work... meetings... collecting money from participants... feeling lazy and useless.. wasting my life away... making my friends worry about me(which i am so so sorry about)... making the wrong decisions in life.. getting myself into trouble.. probably going to fail uni.. and of course still at loggerheads with my mum...

Talkng about my mum... well... as usual... i got out of the hse feeling angry again today... she's juz so irritating.... not as if my mood is not bad enough... she has to make it worst.. but well.. she doesn't know... does she..?? never knows when i'm happy or sad or frustrated or watever... all she cares is of my studies... never remembers what i like to eat or do... and all she does is presume things about me... dun think she has ever understood me as a person... the only things that maybe she knoes to do is to predict what 'mischief' i'll be up to... haha

Argh... i think i sprained my finger... dunnoe how the hell it happened... cant even type properly... Argh..

Sometimes i feel i am such a failure at being a person... so weak .. so transparent... so tactless... so not streetwise... so stupid.. so irritating.. a not perfect perfectionist.. a none achiever... a dreamer..
Dunnoe how the hell i managed to come into uni....?? 20 years of my life... i wonder if i have even achieved anything at all... and as usual... i'm again wasting my life sitting @yih staring at my lappie..
I deserve it if i fail this sem...

iamfeelingstilldrunk

| # over and out @ 8:53 AM |

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